Issue Twenty - Summer 2012

A Graphologist’s Nightmare

By Robert Hoffman

I have a gift. Yes, I can channel your living
mother by examining her handwriting.
No, she won’t feel a thing. A simple sample
is enough – a 3 X 5 recipe card will do . . .
let’s see – Baked Chicken Fiesta Casserole:

Witness the wide, consumptive loops; the reserved
left slant; the unreal short stem and crossbar ‘T’.
Trauma in her childhood, and so . . . she waits –
for her inheritance? She took Grandpa’s death
from asbestos hard. Coco-dot Pumpkin cake:

A Thanksgiving favorite written in Grandma’s hand
last year: Notice the pleasant ‘P;’ the equality
of her giving ‘M’; the healthy zone management
celebrating the spiritual and physical
existence in her own beauty. She still flirts

with the boys? Good for her. No, I’m not on her side.
I don’t know your grandma – she didn’t send me here.
I’ve never met your mother. More recipes?
The All Woman Friends and Family Recipe Club:
Jenny’s Spectacular self-centered Meatloaf.

Marjorie’s Breaded lesbian for the Halibut.
No, I don’t hate women – we all have character.
Richard’s Secret Steak womanizing Marinade;
Linda’s Portobello ingénue Burger Treat.
Is that the doorbell? The Recipe Club is here?

It’s late, can’t stay, gotta go. Don’t take this
seriously. I told you, it’s a gift,
and you can have it.

Copyright Hoffman 2012

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